My Favourite Examples

I'd share a few puns of my own but they're either too personal (i.e. not many would get it) or in another language, so please enjoy the following more general puns instead.

(Source: here)

  • Archeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins.
  • Egotist: One who is me-deep in conversation.
  • Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
  • Middle Age: When actions creak louder than words.
  • Psychologist: A person that pulls habits out of rats.
  • I used to be a ballet dancer, but found it too-too difficult.
  • I used to be a butler, but found the work wasn't my cup of tea.
  • I used to be a carpenter, but then I got bored.
  • I used to be a part-time hairdresser, but I wanted something more permanent.
  • I used to be a lumberjack, but then I got the axe.
  • I used to be a tennis instructor, but it just wasn't my racket.
  • I used to be a transplant surgeon, but my heart just wasn't in it.
  • I used to work for Victoria's Secret, but then I got a pink slip.

And More!

Source: JokesGalore

  • At a radiator shop (A-1 Radiator) "Best Place in Town to take a Leak"
  • Sign over a gynecologist's office "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
  • On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
  • Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
  • At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout"
  • On an electrician's truck "Let us remove your shorts."
  • On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
  • At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
  • In a podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
  • At a car dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."
  • In a veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
  • At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

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    Opened: 12 March 2006
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